Introduction: The Itch for Adventure

Saturday I got the itch to want to go on a date with Shay. However, I didn't want to go to any of our usual places. Before I got too far into planning, I messaged her and asked if she wanted to go on a date. She said yes! I have always had this dream that one day I would be able to pick her up, head to the airport, and we'd hop a flight somewhere just for dinner and then turn around and come home. We've got kids! Today wasn't going to be that day.

Surprise Twist: A Change of Plans at the Airport

I came up with a better idea. I surprised her by renting a Dodge Challenger from the airport, and we would drive to Greensboro, SC for dinner. You know, a night out in the big city. We hopped in the car and drove to the airport. I told her we were about to hop on a plane. She said, "Stop playing." I pulled into the parking lot at the airport and said, "Wait here." I jumped out of the car thinking to myself she was going to be surprised when she saw the real plan.

I walked up to the rental car counter; they were smiling and laughing. I'm smiling, I give them my name and credit card, and he turns and says, "We don't have your car; they overbooked us. Do you want a van or SUV?" No, I said! He suggested I check with the other rental places inside. 30 minutes later, I was starting up the Jeep telling her to walk into the parking lot. It took so long because I first accidentally rented a Dodge Charger. They didn't have a Challenger, so I said I'd take the Jeep.

The Road to Greensboro: A Jeep Experience

I pull up on her and say, "Hop in, baby. We have dinner reservations in Greensboro, SC." She was shocked. We had never been to Greensboro, and we had never been to the restaurant we were going to. I smiled and thought to myself, "I am the man. If I don't get lucky tonight after all this... I'm kidding, or am I? Lol..."

It was a beautiful spring evening. I decided to take the top off the Jeep. I would have taken the doors off too, but the kit to do it wasn't in the rental car. About 20 minutes into the drive, I decided to let her drive. She had never driven a Jeep. And it was quite an experience, if you ask me, so I wanted to share it with her.

Dinner in Greensboro: New Tastes and Old Bonds

As she is driving down the freeway, the wind is blowing, and we realize Jeeps are light! It was pretty scary driving down a two-lane freeway with the Jeep blowing with the wind and us feeling every little bump in the road. Nonetheless, we kept it moving, listening to music, and chatting every now and again. I was in my happy place, but something was missing.

We made it to Greensboro, and even though we were 30 minutes late, the restaurant seated us right away. Shay had gumbo. And I had chicken & mac and cheese waffle. I never in my life had something like that. When in a new city, you must try new things! It turned out to be amazing. We had a good time at dinner.

A Silent Ride Home: A Missed Opportunity for Deeper Connection

After dinner, the temperature had dropped, and the wind had picked up. We walked around for a few and then back to the Jeep, where I struggled for 10 minutes to put the top back on while Shay recorded some videos in her cute outfit for the gram.

Once I started down the open highway, I felt it again like something was missing. And it hit me. I wanted to connect with her during some deep conversation on life, love, something. But I was afraid to start the conversation. I thought to myself, how could I be afraid to start up a conversation with my wife? In that moment, I had a need, but I wasn't vulnerable enough to ask for what I wanted. Deep down, I thought, what if she didn't want to connect with me. Shouldn't her company be enough? I drove home the rest of the way in silence; she eventually dozed off to sleep.

Reflections and Realizations: The Importance of Being Present

When I got home, I chose to focus on the good things that happened on our date and table the connection conversation till after I woke up. The next morning during my journaling, it hit me. Presence does not equal being present. What I wanted in that moment was a connection in the present. And just because we are married doesn't always come automatically; it requires effort and putting oneself out there sometimes.

Later that evening I told her I enjoyed our date. Then I told her I wanted to connect more via conversation during our date. It would be something I'd like to see us work on our next date. I felt vulnerable when telling her but felt good afterward because, regardless of how I felt, I was willing to say what needed to be said to connect with my baby!

Because I had the Jeep for 24 hours, I made the most of it. If I had never been in a Jeep that means the kids had not either. So after church, I took the boys on a ride in the Jeep. It felt good to be with my boys just out riding and talking. As boys get older, they don't always want to hang with you. I appreciate any moment mine do. I decided to give them the no-top experience even though every cloud in the sky said I'm going to rain on your head. Sure enough, 10 minutes into the top-down ride it starts raining on our heads. I pulled over to the side of the freeway, and we put the top back on. I am sure it is an experience they won't forget, neither will I.

Life is always teaching us something and challenging us to be better. We just have to slow down and listen. Would I rent a Jeep again? I don't know. Probably if I were going off-road. But for an everyday driver, that thing is terrible on gas! But either way, that was the best $200.00 I spent in a long time.

Opinions are like mixtapes—everyone thinks theirs is the best but not everyone wants to hear it! Don't let someone else's review of your life's playlist drown out your own beats. Remember, you're the DJ of your own life, so play it loud and proud!- Jalal Wilson
​

​

​

Random observations from this week!

• There are people waiting for you to come into their life and make it better. You just have to be willing to come out your comfort zone to make it happen.

​

• Smoked chicken is amazing! I smoked chicken for the first time this week. I had it in chicken noodle soup. And for the main course with some sides. Then cold one day it was good all three ways(Yes I said cold!)

​

• Stop overthinking just start! I was told by a coach this week most entrepreneurs spend 10 years studying the thing going to conferences buying book before doing the thing. I felt called out lol. We have to just start!!

​

Quote of the week:

"We cannot escape fear. We can only transform it into a companion that accompanies us on all our exciting adventures.... Take a risk a day- one small or bold stroke will make you feel great once you have done it" - Susan Jeffers

Book I'm Reading

You are a badass at making money - Jen Sincero

I enjoy this book because she is funny. And she did not get started until she was 40. She has some good exercises for shifting your mind around making money.

​

Question

What is the one thing you love about you? And how can you lean into that more?

​

I hope this was helpful!! And remember you are enough! Keep going!!

I wish the story I am getting ready to tell you weren't true, but it is!

It was a beautiful, sunny day in South Carolina. Fresh off my 20-minute stint in the sauna, trying to keep my cardiovascular health in check, I decided to run to Sam's Club about a mile away and grab what I needed.

My Sam's Club trip started out like any other. I stared at the samples, deciding which ones to eat and which to pass on. I was having a wonderful time until I looked up out of the corner of my eye and saw a familiar face.

Instantly, I turned like I didn't see him and bolted behind the freezer section, out of sight. I peeked around the corner, and once his back was turned, I bolted down the aisle toward the onions. It hit me that this was silly, dodging another grown man. The way I was hiding, you would think I owed him money, but I didn't. It was deeper than that.

Let's go back in time, right before I decided to leave my last job and bet on myself. I went to a mixer, and at this mixer, I went in with confidence. When people asked what I did, I told them I was an explorer, which was true. By that time, since I had been in South Carolina, I had worked at UPS, a trucking company, and a fire department. I was exploring a fit in the South, and I hadn't found one, which made me feel distraught. 

When I told him about my book for short men and wanting to encourage short men, he thought it was cool. As I was leaving, he said we should have lunch sometime, as I seemed interesting. I said okay. I went home and told Shay all about it. By this time, we had been here almost a year and a half, and that was my first time putting myself out there.

I could tell he was successful; he was a motivational speaker and a realtor. We decided to have coffee one day, a few days before I was getting ready to leave my job. I went to meet him at the Starbucks in my work uniform. He was driving a newer Mercedes, and I pulled up in a bright red fire department vehicle and hopped out in my uniform.

Things got awkward after I told him I was leaving my job and that I was going to figure it out. I didn't have any network here, and I didn't know exactly how it was going to work, but I knew it would. His demeanor switched, and so did mine. It was almost as if after I told him that, he sized me up and said, "This guy is delusional. I'll give him some advice, and I'm out of here."

He ended up giving me some advice. He then told me he would send me the name of a book to help me on my path, and we parted ways. I have yet to hear from him again. I still wonder what the book might have been.

I had come to the South to make money, take care of my family, and experience life outside of my hometown of Seattle. But financially, I was struggling. All the jobs I could find paid me half what I made in Seattle. 

I was questioning my path and whether what I was doing was right, and then to have my first time trying to mingle with people go like that—it hurt, to say the least.

When I ended up seeing him at the store, everything came rushing back: the insecurities around how I felt that day, all of it. So, I dodged him for the next 15 minutes in that store while I finished my shopping.

The interesting part was that he was wrong. Things worked out when I took the leap of faith, and I am now in a better situation than even I thought I would be.

Being in that situation reminded me how important it is not to worry about someone else's opinion of you. Worrying about the opinion of someone you don't even know will have you thinking low of yourself. He couldn't see it, and truthfully, at that time, neither could I. But I believed and walked anyway.

Next time I see him, I won't hide from him. I will walk up to him, say hello, and keep it moving. I don't have anything to prove to him.

Looking back, I realize that the encounter at Sam's Club was a pivotal moment in my journey. It reminded me that not everyone will understand or support my decisions, but that shouldn't deter me from pursuing my goals. I've learned to trust my instincts, believe in myself, and keep pushing forward, even in the face of doubt or adversity. Today, I'm in a better place than I ever imagined, and I'm grateful for the lessons I've learned along the way. To anyone facing a similar situation, remember that your path is your own, and you don't need anyone else's approval to follow your dreams.

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I checked my computer 15 times after publishing a post in which I hoped you read like and validate me. 

Good job, you're the best, that made think is all I want to hear from you. 

Who are you? I don't know. It doesn't matter I just need you to validate me. 

My thoughts and feelings every time I share a piece of me. 

I know it's toxic. I should be able to create without needing you... 

But... 

I'm not there yet but I will be soon. 

Until then click like so I know that you notice me.

Signed a content creators journey back to reality

As a man and father on a journey of self-discovery, I am trying to fill in the pieces the old me leaves behind. Some days, I feel confident in my ability to guide my children down the right path. Other times, I find myself questioning every decision, wondering if I'm doing it right.

The Family Vacation

A few weeks back, we went on vacation with our children and a couple of cousins. Leading up to the trip, I was proud of my wife and myself; we were giving these children a type of experience we never had. The children were excited. We were getting ready to inbark on our version of the Are We There Yet Movies.

Before we left, I gave them all a pep talk. We had a 4-hour drive, and I didn't want to hear no arguing on the trip. We were going to enjoy this beautiful trip and the luxurious cabin we rented. For the first few days, everything was going great. I low-key felt like Dad of the Year.

The Incident

One morning, I went up to the kids' area to see how things were going, and one of my sons did something that caught my eye. He flinched and put something under his arm. Of course, I said, "What are you hiding?" He said, "Nothing." Undeterred, I told him to get up, and sure enough, he had a phone under his arm. My heart sank. I grabbed the phone and left after telling him I was disappointed in his actions.

In our home, children can only use their phones during certain times. Well, he had a second one I knew nothing about. That meant he could be on his phone all the time. As I walked down the stairs, I felt such guilt and shame come over me. It was my son who couldn't follow the rules. I felt exposed.

Processing the Emotions

I went downstairs to the movie room and thought to myself, "We've been having such a great vacation. Why did this have to happen?" I turned on a movie and relaxed to ease my mind.

After about two hours, I called him down to talk. I told him I didn't appreciate what he did, and he showed no remorse. I then explained that we have rules in the house, and they are for everyone. He turned and said to me, "Well, I can't wait to move out and never talk to you again."

At that moment, I felt a pain so intense, as though he had kicked me in the groin. Feeling wounded, vulnerable, and exposed, I snapped! I told him I didn't care. That was fine. But until then, he had to follow the rules.

But the truth was, I did care, and what just happened hurt like hell. After calming down, I told him I would still be here when he wanted to talk again if he decided to leave and that I would miss him but would respect his choice.

I then told him he could go back upstairs. I spent the next hour feeling shame, guilt, embarrassment, and a sick feeling that no matter what I do for them, I'm not enough. After allowing myself to feel it, I told myself, "Enough. He made his own choices. I am doing my best, and I refuse to let this moment ruin the trip."

The Journey of Fatherhood

Sometimes, I wish I had figured things out sooner as a father and a man. But then I remind myself that a tree doesn't bear fruit as soon as it's planted. It's a process.

Right now, you may be going through your own process with your children as a father. Do your best, give yourself grace, and remember, you're putting yourself together one piece at a time, too. There will be moments when you feel hurt by your children, but don't lose faith in yourself or them. Embrace the ups and downs of fatherhood and self-discovery, knowing that each experience is an opportunity for growth and learning.

In the end, the journey of fatherhood is a beautiful, messy, and rewarding one. Trust in yourself, keep an open heart, and know that you are exactly where you need to be.